


Can You Hear it? It is the Sound of My Heart, Breaking into Two

by Hornet394



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Forced Marriage, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Secret Relationship, not a very happy fic if that's what you're looking for please don't click in, palace politics, some people are kinda evil but hey it's fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-12-24 03:46:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12004341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hornet394/pseuds/Hornet394
Summary: There is Byun Baekhyun, first of his name, heir to the throne. And then there is Zhang Yixing, a son of a foreign immigrant.And finally, there is everyone else between them.





	Can You Hear it? It is the Sound of My Heart, Breaking into Two

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt #68:  
> Baekhyun is chosen as the Prince who will marry a neighboring kingdom's Princess, bring the families together, and save his nation from war and destruction. His family cannot understand why he is not ecstatic over this honor, but they don't know he spends his nights in the company of the groundskeeper.
> 
> Thank you golden mods for holding this fest! You guys are the best uwu Love my beta for everything, please focus on your own studies first bb and thanks so much to A for her betaing as well x) Lastly, dear prompter I really loved this one, I hope this was what you wanted, thank you for giving me the chance to write this!

_  
“It’s not your turn,” The gatekeeper with the horse head growls, “We told you.” the gatekeeper with the head of a cow snorts in agreement._

_Baekhyun plops down on the ground, silken robes and all. “Well, at least tell me what’s behind the gate,” He whines, “And why Yixing is behind it.”_

_As if the older man could hear Baekhyun, Yixing turns and looks back from the other side of the iron bars. His eyes are emotionless._  
  
Baekhyun springs awake, and a shadow looms above him.

“I was about to wake you,” Yixing whispers. Calloused hands brush through Baekhyun’s hair. Baekhyun leans into Yixing’s touch, nuzzling his lover’s hand. 

Yixing must have had such pretty fingers, long, slender, pale and smooth.

“No more dawdling, Baekhyunnie,” Yixing scolds, but Baekhyun just wraps his limbs around Yixing like an octopus, whining. His lover’s laughter fills his ears, and Baekhyun is content.

He manages to make it back to his room just in time for the maids to come help him change into his courtly robes. Junmyeon, his personal maid and childhood best friend, gives him an affronted look, but he doesn’t say anything and just helps Baekhyun rush through the layers and layers of imperial clothing.

He manages to make it to the court before his father arrives. His two younger brothers, Chanyeol and Jongdae are already there. “Overslept again, hyung?” Jongdae leers.

Then the trumpets sound, and the royal couple descends to the throne. Baekhyun had always found this design stupid, putting the royals’ quarters behind the throne room just so that they could make stairs coming down onto the dais that held the throne from their living space. Why couldn’t the royalty just go through the same entrance like everybody else?

The Queen, Jongdae’s mother, sits down on her smaller throne, while the King stands on top of the dias, surveying the court.

The King’s page, Yifan, steps forward, and they go through the whole row of pleasantries, the bowing, the chanting, and finally the King takes his seat. Finally, finally Baekhyun and his brothers can also sit down.

The Lords start coming forward with their petitions, and Baekhyun resists the urge to yawn. “What do you think, Baekhyun?” The King suddenly says. Baekhyun freezes up, as all eyes fall onto him again.

“That sounds great!” He chirps.

Chanyeol snorts loudly. 

For the first time, though, it seems as if agreeing to whatever is going on works, because his father looks pleased. “Excellent, my boy,” He says, “I will look forward to your marriage.”

Polite claps thunder across the hall and Baekhyun blinks in a daze.

He looks to his younger brothers in panic, and Chanyeol is staring at him gravely. Jongdae is laughing at him.

He storms back into his room after court, ignoring Junmyeon’s hurried calls for him to wait for his entourage. He throws his headpiece onto the table angrily and kicks the stool. Chanyeol had filled him in when the King had moved onto something else - Baekhyun was going to marry Prince Kim Minseok of the neighboring kingdom to broker peace between them.

The blood has completely run off Baekhyun’s face at that realization, that he had trapped himself into a marriage - to a man, of all things, and along with that, he had lost his inheritance by not being able to produce an heir.

“You lost your chance to stay no,” Chanyeol had said with a stormy look on his face, then he and his entourage had pushed past Baekhyun.

Junmyeon picks the stool up, and there’s a small dent. He calls one of the eunuchs into the room and has it taken away.

Baekhyun pushes the teaset off the table, scaring the poor fellow, and Junmyeon hurriedly waves him out.

“You will still be allowed to take a wife,” Junmyeon says calmly, “Besides, you never liked the throne anyway.”

“This whole system is stupid!” Baekhyun yells, but he could never tell Junmyeon about the true reason he’s so angry over all of this. 

Baekhyun had known, somewhere deep inside of his heart, that one day, he would have to take a wife. A wife he could hide away, just put her out of sight when he needed to in the maze of the palace. A wife would be obedient and would know her place, married to a prince. A husband? 

For men to take husbands was essentially a death sentence - a sign that he’s not wanted as the heir. Men with husbands were allowed to take as many female consorts as they wanted, but their children could never be eligible to inherit anything, being born out of wedlock.

Scratch that, no one wants to take a husband here. Men desiring men is a notion frowned upon, banned. A man who desires another man would be disinherited and disowned immediately. The lucky ones would be exiled, left to the elements. Men who are forced to marry men are pitied, here. Everyone understands they didn’t want it. 

But Baekhyun isn’t even angry about this. Happy, even, that he would not be forced to lie with a woman, especially cunning, conniving women who manage to get themselves in the prince’s bed - but he had never imagined marrying a man that’s _not_ Yixing.

Not once.

“Perhaps the Queen can do something about it, your Grace?” Junmyeon says hesitantly, “Perhaps one of her daughters would prefer the married life.”

Baekhyun clenches his fists, and when he releases it, he can feel that his fingernails have left marks again. If Yixing saw them, he would frown and rub Baekhyun’s palm, trying to smooth out the dents. Baekhyun likes it when Yixing touches him, but he doesn’t like it when Yixing frowns.

“Have someone run ahead,” He finally sighs, “Let’s go visit my darling mother.”

The Queen’s Court is alive with activity, or at least with the pretence of it. The Queen’s servants hurry up and down, their postures prim and poised. When Baekhyun is announced and escorted into the Queen’s Hall, she does not seem pleased.

“Queen mother.” He bows, and she gestures for him to rise.

“What is it, Prince Baekhyun?” She asks, tight-lipped. The Queen, his stepmother, had never liked him. An elderly eunuch once told him that it was because he looked like his mother, the first queen.

“Queen mother,” Baekhyun clears his throat, “I have come to ask for your assistance to call of the marriage between me and... Prince Kim of the other kingdom.”

The Queen raises a hand to gesture one of her servant girls closer. The girl obeys, a petite little one with large, doe-like eyes. She leans forward, anticipating a whispered order.

The Queen slaps the girl across the face, and she falls onto her knees, quivering. The hit echoes in the Hall.

“That is what I would do to you, if you were my blood child,” The Queen says, finally turning her eyes back on Baekhyun. “Perhaps you are not understanding the severity of the situation. Peace must be brokered, and you must play your part.”

“But Queen mother,” Baekhyun tries to reason, “There are many princesses that surely, Prince Kim would find much more appealing.”

“It was their specific request to have Kim Minseok married to a son,” The Queen says, putting down her teacup, “I suggested you to the king.”

“But...”

“Well, child,” The Queen says, tight-lipped, “If you wanted to keep your heirdom, perhaps you should have paid attention in court.”

Baekhyun grimaces. Kim Eunhye had never thought highly of him, especially because he is the first-born of Park Yumin, the King’s first Queen. 

“It’s not about being an heir, Queen mother,” Baekhyun tries to explain, “I just don’t want to be married.”

“It is just a marriage of pretenses.” The Queen says stiffly. “Think about it, Baekhyun. You can visit as many brothels as you like, have as many consorts as you like. It is not like you will have to satisfy your husband... sexually.” She shivers at that notion.

“But Queen mother...!”

“You think too highly of yourself,” Kim Eunhye hisses, “Being married to Kim Minseok is the highest honour you will ever get, you ungrateful brat! Just look at you! Spoilt, entitled. You will never amount to anything Jongdae, or even Chanyeol can ever achieve! To think that someone like you would be king!”

Frozen by her outburst, Baekhyun stands there as Kim Eunhye calms down. There’s cold sweat beading across his back.

“I will hear no more of this, Baekhyun,” The Queen says firmly, “Nor will your father. It is time for you to do something useful for this nation.”

But Baekhyun cannot be married to Kim Minseok, because he has promised himself to someone else long ago.

//

Baekhyun had imagined it numerous times before, his and Yixing’s wedding. It would be in late spring, when the breeze is still here, before the rains fall. The last flowers will still be in bloom. It would have to be held in secret, of course, with only the trees and the winds as their attendants, the flowers as their grooms and bridesmaids, the birds as their witnesses.

Baekhyun had always been a rebellious child, running all over the palace. Especially after Yura and Chanyeol were born, his mother had become increasingly weak and could no longer watch over his growth. There was also the added stress with the increasing attention Consort Kim had been receiving from the King after Jongdae was born. Baekhyun, let loose, ran the maids and servants in circles, always poking his nose into things, always scampering around.

Then he met a little boy, a little taller than himself, who looked like he was half-asleep. “Are you a eunuch?” He had blurted out, and the other boy had stared at him, startled.

Yixing, of course, was not a eunuch, or Baekhyun’s sex life would not have existed.

Yixing’s father had been the Imperial Gardener before him, and his mother was one of the maids. It was natural that, at a young age, he had already been learning under his father’s tutelage, with his twin sister Yuxia.

And the Zhangs were very talented with their hands. Baekhyun was once forced to take flute lessons. His tutor had been an impatient, stubborn old man, and Baekhyun was almost always in tears as he got kicked out of the classroom by the tutor.

It had been Yixing who, with infinite patience, had taught Baekhyun how to properly place his fingers - that he was pressing too hard on the keys, that his fingers were moving too slowly, that he was blowing too aggressively. 

Yixing’s fingers had overlapped his, and they had spun magic together.

They were children, then, innocent and innocuous, but Baekhyun had already been lost under Yixing’s spell.

Baekhyun had been the one to start the fleeting glances and lingering touches, and Yixing had been the one to shy away. He didn’t want to ruin Baekhyun, he said. Baekhyun told him he had already ruined him when they first bathed together, when they had seen each other’s naked bodies. Take responsibility, Baekhyun had told him, then.

And Yixing’s eyes had softened, turned weak, he had lowered himself and knelt in front of Baekhyun, kissing his fingers reverently.

Baekhyun had known, then, that Yixing had wanted to push Baekhyun away, but _Baekhyun wouldn’t allow him_. What Baekhyun wants, Baekhyun gets. I command you, he had told Yixing, and Yixing had stared at him with widened eyes.

To ruin you, my prince? He had asked, You command me to ruin you?

No, Baekhyun had said, I command you to love me.

//

_Baekhyun opens his eyes, and he’s back in front of the gate. Yixing is nowhere to be seen. “Where is the man that was there?” Baekhyun turns to the horse-headed guard frantically. “Beats me,” The guard shrugs, “So many of you pass through here, how would we know?”_

_“Let me in,” Baekhyun pleads, “Let me go after him.”_

_“It’s your time, anyway,” The cow-headed guard suddenly says, nodding to his partner._

_“Of course,” The horse-headed guard says, and the gates swing open ominously. “Go along now, you’re blocking the way.”_

_Baekhyun turns around, no one is there._

_“Hurry up, hurry up,” The horse-headed guard says impatiently, “The queue is long and the night is short.”_  
  
//

When Baekhyun sneaks into Yixing’s room at night, the man is pruning a pot of purple roses. “Just a minute, Baekhyun,” He says, “The Ninth Princess wants it before sunrise.”

The Ninth Princess is a tiny thing, barely 8 years old. She hardly fits a plant as regal and mature as roses, but all people like to think they’re better than they actually are. 

“I want flowers too.” Baekhyun complains, “I better see a new pot in my room tomorrow.”

“Of course.” Yixing agrees, sending Baekhyun a gentle smile, “What would my prince want?”

Baekhyun pretends to think, then smiles at Yixing winningly. “Your favourite flowers.” He answers, “I want them by my window, so I can see them everyday.”

One final sweep, and Yixing throws the thorns of the rose into the burning fire.

“There, all done,” Yixing says cheerily, and Baekhyun plops down on Yixing’s lap. The older man makes a little “oof” sound but his arms come up around Baekhyun’s waist. Baekhyun leans into his hold happily, pressing their cheeks together. “You’re a clingy thing tonight,” Yixing chuckles, his chest vibrating against Baekhyun’s, “How can I help you, my prince?”

“Kiss me,” Baekhyun commands imperiously, and before Yixing can move, he already leans in and presses their lips together, arms wrapping around Yixing’s neck. Yixing’s long fingers land on Baekhyun’s back, pressing him closer, as if wanting to absorb Baekhyun in his body.

The kiss turns heated as Baekhyun’s lips part, and Yixing’s tongue slips in, gentle but unrelentless in pinning Baekhyun down, making him melt against Yixing’s tight hold. Eagerly, Baekhyun’s hands cling to the collar of Yixing’s shirt, and then paw at it. The loose and thin fabric quickly give way, and so does Yixing.

The fabric falls off Yixing’s body and pools on the floor, allowing Baekhyun to run greedy hands all over his lover’s skin. Yixing is solid and firm from his work in the gardens, but his skin is still pale, decorated with slight cuts from the flowers, and Baekhyun’s marks littered all over.

Baekhyun hungrily falls onto them, reaffirming his ownership over Yixing, body and soul. He takes a nipple between his teeth, gently rolling it, suckling at it, and Yixing’s entire body quivers under Baekhyun’s ministrations.

His fingers press on the back of Baekhyun’s head, urging Baekhyun to do more to Yixing, take all he want. Baekhyun moves to the other nipple, until it is as swollen as red as its counterpart and he stands up, shedding his own robes.

Yixing watches him through lidded eyes. “Touch me.” Baekhyun commands as he stands in front of Yixing, naked, and Yixing slides off the chair and onto his knees.

The rough pads of Yixing’s hands touch Baekhyun’s smooth thighs and he shivers, spreading his legs further apart as he wrenches Yixing closer by the hair, spreading his entire weight on the older man as Yixing kisses the tip of Baekhyun’s cock.

“Do it, Yixing, touch me.” Baekhyun cries out again, and Yixing finally acquiesces, wrapping his lips around Baekhyun’s cock, laving it with attention, running his tongue along the veins, occasionally teasing with the slit of the crown of Baekhyun’s erection.

Baekhyun suppresses his groan with his fist as he begins to thrust shallowly into the warm cavern of Yixing’s mouth, and the older man lets him, holds still as Baekhyun chases his release. 

And Baekhyun revels in it, because Yixing is the only one who loves him unconditionally. Baekhyun is a prince, but no one serves him out of love or duty. There is only Yixing who listens to his every word. There is only Yixing who will breathe for him, kiss for him, live for him, die for him.

Baekhyun knows deeply that Yixing will possibly be the only man he can trust in his life.

“Kiss me.” He says, slowing his hips, and Yixing stares up at him with glistening lips. 

“As you wish, Baekhyun.” Yixing murmurs, and he stands up, framing Baekhyun with his strong arms as he leans forward, pressing their lips together.

Baekhyun can taste himself and he surges forward, claiming Yixing’s mouth with a deep-seated urgency as he always does, pressing him backwards, wanting to just sink into the older man’s heart.

They move to the bed and Baekhyun straddles Yixing’s legs, their erect cocks brushing against one another. “Touch me.” Baekhyun moans out the third time, this time with heated urgency. He lies prone against Yixing’s body, rests his head in the crook of Yixing’s shoulder as he spreads his legs, letting Yixing dip his fingers in the pot next to the bed.

There’s a single finger circling the rim of his entrance and Baekhyun shudders violently. Next to his ear, Yixing’s breathing quickens and turns laboured. By the time Yixing has pressed his middle finger inside Baekhyun, a thin layer of sweat have already settled on both of their bodies.

“Faster.” Baekyun hisses, sucking a dark purple bruise on the back of Yixing’s ear. Yixing lets out a low, hysterical chuckle, but obeys and puts a second finger in. Baekhyun moans right against Yixing’s neck as the older man begins to scissor him apart in preparation, knowing exactly how affected Yixing can be by Baekhyun’s verbal encouragements.

“Yixing.” He whines petulantly, and Yixing uses his other hand to frame Baekhyun’s head, tilting Baekhyun’s face slightly so Yixing can kiss him again. This time Baekhyun falls into the kiss, mindless, relenting his control. Yixing doesn’t take it, but they move together comfortably.

FInally, finally, Baekhyun can feel the hot and dripping organ pressed against his entrance, and Yixing lifts Baekhyun off him gently to ask, “May I, my prince?”

“Of fucking course!’ Baekhyun gasps out, and finally, finally Yixing satisfies him. His thrust knocks the air out of Baekhyun’s lungs, and all he can do is cling to Yixing’s biceps as he takes everything Yixing gives him.

He clings and mewls and groans and pants, letting Yixing know exactly how much Baekhyun loves this, _loves him_ , needs him.

“More!” He pleads, and Yixing kisses his jaw, gripping the bedsheets harder as his hips snap against Baekhyun’s own, but it’s still _not enough_ , Baekhyun needs _more_.

So he braces his hands against Yixing’s chest, and, with effort, moves his hips backwards, riding Yixing’s cock with vigour. Yixing’s eyes flutter shut, and Baekhyun just has to lean down and kiss those glistening lips, claim them, devour them, as he chases his release on Yixing’s body.

Yixing’s erection is hot and throbbing, pressing against the most intimate parts inside Baekhyun, filling him, making him complete. Yixing’s hips snap up harsher, quicker, and Baekhyun meets his every movement, _gives_ Yixing his everything.

Baekhyun can feel the pleasure building, mounting, and he rocks his hips faster, his fingernails digging more bloody tracks into Yixing’s chest, until he can feel his whole body seizing up, singing out loud at the mere fact that he is _with Yixing_.

Yixing’s warm come crashes into him a while later, making Baekhyun shiver in phantom recollection. He collapses on top of Yixing, their sweaty bodies pressed close to one another.

Baekhyun is content to just fall asleep like this, but Yixing pats him on the back lightly. “We should wash up before you catch a cold, my prince.” He says lightly, his fingers tracing Baekhyun’s spine.

“I’m getting married.” The thought comes to his mind, and he says it.

Silence meets his words, but he doesn’t dare stare at Yixing, doesn’t dare see the look on his face.

“You are... getting married.” Yixing murmurs. A cold chill runs down Baekhyun’s spine, and he finally turns his head to meet Yixing’s gaze. He can’t really describe the feeling, but it is foreign and uncomfortable.

“Our Baekhyunnie is going to get married!” Yixing cooes, his face breaking into a smile. There’s still something off about it, but Baekhyun can’t lay a finger on it. This is inevitable, isn’t it? This always has been inevitable.

“It’s just- it’s just a political marriage,” Baekhyun blurts out, “It’s just political.”

If anything, Yixing’s smile deepens, and his twin dimples appear. “I know, my prince,” He says lightly, brushing Baekhyun’s hair from his face.

Baekhyun tries to smile back, but it’s not working, so he just leans forward and burrows his face in the crook of Yixing’s shoulder, nuzzling him, clinging to him like a drowning man, like Yixing is his only oxygen.

“Baekhyun.” Yixing’s voice rumbles in his chest. Baekhyun loves the way his own name falls out of Yixing’s lips, even more so when Yixing called him his Baekhyunnie. Much better than titles that everyone else used, much more affectionate, intimate.

“If you continue like this, I will be hard again.”

“Perhaps that is my intention.” Baekhyun murmurs, but his ears have turned red.

“Must you be so blatant?” Yixing chuckles, “It is not healthy to be consumed with the lust of the body, my prince.”

It’s something more than that, but for now Baekhyun kisses Yixing silent, eager to claim his gardener all for himself once again.

//

The neighbouring kingdom wastes no time in delivering their side of the bargain. In a few days Baekhyun is stuffed into his really fancy outfit and he’s standing outside the King’s Court, waiting for the envoy.

Prince Kim Minseok’s entourage is twenty carriages and sixty-nine carts long. Thankfully, Baekhyun doesn’t have to wait for the entire procession to complete their tour around the capital city, he just has to wait for the largest carriage at the middle to break from the line and enter the palace, leaving the remaining eighty-eight horse-drawn vehicles to flash their wealth and numbers before being taken care of by the servants.

He bows 45 degrees with the rest of the royal family as Prince Kim Minseok steps out of the carriage with the help of his own manservant, who returns the gesture. The herald does his pleasantries which Baekhyun tunes out automatically, his gaze zeroing in on the line of servants who are in the background, now hurrying out the side gate to get Prince Minseok’s gifts. Among them is Yixing and his sister, Yuxia, Yixing protecting her from the crowd of people. The sunlight lands on their black hair, giving it a slender and glossy sheen, like a raven’s feather.

Chanyeol steps on Baekhyun’s foot.

“Prince Baekhyun.” Minseok is standing in front of him, clearly having repeated his greeting. The manservant behind him has his head bowed, but he’s clearly smirking at Baekhyun’s behaviour. Without looking behind him, Baekhyun can feel the King and the Queen’s glares burning holes into the back of his head.

“Prince Minseok.” Baekhyun says with a level voice, returning the bow Minseok has given him. “Shall we?” 

They walk side by side stiffly, and the rest of the Court follows.

There is a stuffy banquet where Baekhyun and Minseok sit rigidly next to one another, eating their food in a disciplined fashion. The Queen seems thoroughly entranced by the male and female dancers that serve as entertainment.

For now, nobody’s attention is on Baekhyun, and he’s glad for it.

If his marriage life is to be like this forever, Baekhyun doesn’t mind.

//

The next day’s schedule has Baekhyun going through his civilian closet, Junmyeon waiting patiently outside the room, making small talk with Minseok’s servant, Luhan. Their voices are low and muted so Baekhyun can’t really hear them, but he’s not too concerned.

There’s an outfit that he knows looks good on him, Yixing had said so. But perhaps he should go with the fancy clothes instead, as the Queen would want him to be presented as.

He goes with the fancy clothes.

“Greetings, Prince Baekhyun.” Minseok bows, and Baekhyun returns the pleasantries. “Shall we get going?”

It’s almost magical, the way no one recognizes who Baekhyun and Minseok are when they walk through the streets with civilian clothes, even though almost everyone in the city had gathered to watch the procession the day before. It is as if their royal clothing is a shield, a mask. Or are their civilian clothes their protection?

It was Jongdae who had come up with this idea, stating that it would be good for Minseok to become more familiarized with the city that he is not to reside in, and it would also provide a good opportunity for Minseok and Baekhyun to _bond_. The Queen, had, of course, applauded Jongdae for his considerate nature, and the King had went along with it.

What a joke, really.

What do they have to bond over? They will marry, they will vow to the heavens, their ancestors, and to each other that they would remain by each other’s side, that they would defend their honour, that they would become one.

And then they will each be given a woman to consummate their marriage, and she would be their consort as they are each other’s husbands. They will hold separate courts, and they will have their separate harems, they will have their separate children who will resent their fathers for marrying each other, as they will never be trueborn sons, being children of mere consorts.

They will live their own separate lives, discarded by their families as sacrifices.

Baekhyun is not a very good tour guide, is he? Ten minutes have passed, yet they have not uttered a single world between them. They have passed by monuments, buildings, but Baekhyun have not raised a finger to point them out.

“So.” Minseok suddenly says, a polite smile on his face, “What do you like to do in your spare time?”

Visit Yixing. Hide from all the other servants, scuttle after Yixing as he tends to the gardens. Sneak food in the kitchen, let Yixing taste the delicacies on his fingers, his lips.

“I enjoy riding.” He says instead stiffly. Minseok looks at him as if he is expecting a longer answer, but the words do not come to Baekhyun, nor is he looking for them.

“You have a lover, do you not?” Minseok asks abruptly, and Baekhyun trips over his feet. “That is why you detest me so.”

“That is none of your concern!” Baekhyun spits out defensively, but Minseok doesn’t seem fazed by his harsh tone. Instead, Minseok’s smile curls into a cat-like smirk, and Baekhyun is momentarily struck by how absolutely beautiful the other man is. There is truly no exaggeration of Minseok’s grace. But he will never be as graceful as Yixing is, when he attends to his plants. Precise movements, tender affection.

The way he touches Baekhyun, worships Baekhyun. Baekhyun closes his eyes briefly to dispel the thoughts.

“Is she pregnant?” Minseok asks, “I am sorry that our marriage has robbed your son of his worthy title.”

“Please drop the topic.” Baekhyun sighs. “We are not that close.”

“When will we become close, then?” Minseok stops in the middle of the street. Baekhyun hastily grabs him by the arm to avoid an irate hawker and his cart of goods.

In that short while, it seems Minseok’s temper has subsided. “My apologies, Prince Baekhyun. I merely thought that since we are going to live together for the rest of our lives, we may as well get to know each other better.”

Baekhyun looks to the ground, finding it fascinating. He doesn’t want to get to know Minseok better. He doesn’t need to. He has Yixing, why does he need Minseok?

But Minseok’s stare is piercing, reminding Baekhyun of the Queen’s own. All the royalty have that element to their gazes.

So Baekhyun caves.

They find a restaurant and sit down. Baekhyun shares about the history of the royal family, careful and aware that both the King and Queen have their eyes and ears everywhere. In turn, Minseok shares about his.

Minseok’s words kind of flies over Baekhyun’s head.

They exchange some childhood stories and anecdotes, jaded and muted versions of reality. Minseok is a particularly easy man to please, Baekhyun realizes. Or perhaps Minseok is just catering to him, for his laughter never reaches his eyes, not really. Both of them know Baekhyun isn’t really interested, and Minseok’s patience is running thin, but they keep it up.

When the sky turns dark, Baekhyun accompanies Minseok back to his quarters. Baekhyun is sharing a story from his childhood, where he had dragged Junmyeon out of class to steal some foreign delicacy from the kitchen. His mother had been alive then, and she had been irate when they got caught, but as soon as Baekhyun had started to cry, she had just dropped the cane she was going to use and just hugged the both of them. It was one of his fondest memories that didn’t involve Yixing.

After a whole day of conversation, he didn’t have much of those left untold.

“It was a nice day with you.” Minseok comments abruptly, “Perhaps our marriage will be a happy one.” 

Baekhyun’s smile freezes minutely. “Perhaps.” He forces out. “Have a good night.”

Minseok nods in dismissal. “You as well.”

//  
_  
“Drink it, child.” The wooden bowl is filled to the brim with clear liquid. Baekhyun takes it, but his hands are trembling too vigorously and the bowl falls into the lake at their feet, washed away._

_The granny just sighs good-naturedly, taking another bowl from behind her, like it is a daily occurrence. The iron ladle goes back into the cauldron, and she pours out more of her soup._

_“Drink it, child,” She repeats, “You’re holding up the line.”_

_Baekhyun looks behind him. There’s no one there. Instead he says, “Have you seen Yixing pass by here?”_

_“Child, if you are not here to drink my soup, please leave,” The granny is frowning, now, “You’re holding up the line.”_

_“I just need to know if Yixing has gone onto the bridge!” He cries._

_“Ah.” The granny suddenly smiles. “If you want to go onto the bridge, you must drink my soup. You drink, I drink. Who have drunk my soup, you ask? Forgot.”_

_“Everyone who drinks your soup forgets,” Baekhyun pleads, “I don’t want to forget Yixing.”_

_“Ah, but the man you are seeking have already forgotten about you,” The granny replies._  
  
//

Baekhyun bolts up in fright, and, ignoring the fact that it was in the middle of the night, he hastily dresses himself in his sturdy riding clothes and jumps out of the window. The back of his room directly leads to one of the gardens of the palace, and, using the stars and moon as his guide, Baekhyun dashes across the length of it, before reaching the spot where the servants’ gate is. It’s locked, but Baekhyun had long gotten the keys from Yixing, and he quickly unlocks it.

He almost trips over a rock, but Baekhyun stays near the walls as he passes through the next garden. He doesn’t know whose garden it is - there’s a beautiful row of monkshood. Beautiful, but deadly.

Once past the next garden, he’s in the servants’ corridor. It’s busy, even late at night, but Baekhyun keeps his head low and hood up, pretending to be one of them. None of the servants give him a second glance, and Baekhyun emerges out in another garden.

This garden is far more unkempt, but the beauty is carved into the entire palace. Not even the servants’ courtyard is spared. He dashes amongst the pebbled paths, and finally raps the familiar wooden door.

“My prince?” Yixing stares in shock when he opens the door, “What are you doing?”

“I miss you.” Baekhyun blurts out, and he’s crowding into the room, leaving no space for negotiation as he begins to claw at Yixing’s robes.

“Wa-wait...” Yixing is pushing him away, but there’s no real heat. “Take me.” Baekhyun gasps, and he presses his lips against Yixing’s viciously.

Yixing yields, as always, but he _doesn’t_ want Yixing to do it. He doesn’t want Yixing to let him do whatever he wants. He wants Yixing to chain him up, hide him from the rest of the world.

“Fuck me.” Baekhyun growls, turning away from Yixing as he rips his robes off his own body, recklessly throwing them on the ground as he stalks towards the bed naked.

He grabs the bottle of lotion and tips it on his fingers, hastily pressing it to his entrance.

“Baekhyun!” Yixing exclaims when he presses in two fingers at once. It hurts, it stings, but Baekhyun just _needs_ , and he _doesn’t_ need Yixing’s concern. All he needs is _Yixing_.

He rolls onto his back and spreads his legs, trying to present himself like a whore, but Yixing is still rooted to the spot, too far away.

“Fuck me!” Baekhyun hisses again, so much to the extent that it’s starting to get embarrassing. “Do you not desire me?” 

“Baek- my pri- prince...”

“It is your duty to satisfy my needs, isn’t it?” Baekhyun snaps, anger mounting within him, building, exploding. “If you can’t do it, there are plenty more others who will satisfy me!”

He instantly regrets the words once it leaves his mouth, watches it sink into Yixing’s mind, his eyes, his whole body.

“You can’t possibly mean that.”

There’s an edge to Yixing’s voice, one that is unfamiliar, scary, as if Baekhyun will lose Yixing anytime soon but this is also what Baekhyun needs from Yixing, right here, right now.

“Yeah?” He challenges, his voice cracking, “I’m going to walk out that door, right now, let everyone and their _dog_ fuck me, and you can’t do anything about it!”

Then Yixing is stalking towards him, and Baekhyun fucks himself faster, scissoring himself open for Yixing to fall upon him like a predator, a wolf claiming its prey.

Yixing doesn’t ask for permission to put his cock inside Baekhyun, Yixing is not caring or gentle. He barely loosens his robes enough to free his erection, then his hands tear Baekhyun’s arms away.

Baekhyun falls onto his back, his legs hanging down the side of the bed, Yixing standing between them with a solemn expression. Baekhyun’s hands are immobilized from his stare, and all he can do is arch his back and moan when Yixing slides three calloused fingers inside Baekhyun’s entrance roughly, scraping at his inner walls unpleasantly. For the first time Yixing’s mouth lands on Baekhyun’s skin, biting, leaving his marks, tainting Baekhyun.

Long fingers wrap around Baekhyun’s thighs, then he’s pushed further up the bed as his legs land on Yixing’s shoulder, and he can feel something throbbing with heated passion against his entrance. The rim of his hole flutters greedily, wanting to suck the organ in, consume it.

He is frightened, but also so thrilled, because this isn’t a Yixing he’s familiar with, but this is the Yixing he’s _always_ been looking for.

The sex hurts, and it’s supposed to hurt, because what they have is immoral, and Baekhyun is being punished for it.

He had been too happy with Yixing, too loving, that it’s become unreal. Reality is cruel and painful.

Men are not supposed to lie with men, let alone a commoner and the prince of the realm. Baekhyun is not supposed to want to stay by this commoner, this _servant’s_ side. They have been born in the wrong bodies, the wrong era. Yet two people like them have come together, and now they are being punished for it.

Baekhyun’s legs fall to wrap around Yixing’s waist as the older man falls on top of him, his head falling to the side of Baekhyun’s head, greedily breathing in Baekhyun’s sounds, his movements, his gasps and pants. Baekhyun has always been Yixing’s oxygen, just like Yixing is his.

“Baekhyun... Baekhyun... Baekhyunnie...”

Baekhyun clings to Yixing tighter, hands forming into claws, digging into the skin of Yixing’s back. It must sting, but Yixing does nothing to push Baekhyun away.

How Baekhyun wanted to give his heart to the man above him! It beats for him, it throbs for him, but it can never be his.

This is an illusion that Baekhyun has asked for, and now it is time to wake up.

There is no longer rage or petulance in their movements, just single-minded passion and fervent desire. Baekhyun’s heart thuds in his chest, and if he closes his eyes, he can hear Yixing’s own heartbeat, synchronizing, becoming one uniformed noise. Their breath mingle together, their sweat pools together on Baekhyun’s body.

And Baekhyun greedily takes _everything_ Yixing has to give him.

Both of them reach the pinnacle in a mixture of moan and screams. There is no prince, no gardener. There are only two lovers, fearful of their future, discontent with their present, reminiscent of their past.

There are only two boys with the weight of the world on their shoulders. Baekhyun’s entire body is aching, his thighs are strained from the painful posture Yixing had put him in, but he had never felt as relaxed in his life.

Yixing slips out and Baekhyun whines, unhappy that the comforting pressure inside of him is gone. His legs fall without Yixing to support him, falling on the mattress and banging onto the side of the bed.

There are apologies slipping from Yixing’s mouth instantly, but Baekhyun only smiles weakly at him, coaxing him back onto the bed. Together, they scoot into a more comfortable position on the bed, with Baekhyun’s head pillowed on Yixing’s chest, while Yixing’s hand slowly massages Baekhyun’s waist.

“I love you.” Baekhyun murmurs. “I should have told you earlier.”

Yixing pauses for a while, then a light kiss lands on Baekhyun’s forehead. “It’s fine.” The older man answers, “You know I love you.”

“I did.” Baekhyun rests his hand on Yixing’s waist, “I do.”

“And that is enough.” Yixing replies. Baekhyun can hear the smile in his words.

“If only we could be together, in this life.” Yixing murmurs, “I pray to the heavens everyday in the next life, we can.”

“I see you’re a reincarnation type of guy.” Baekhyun says crookedly. “I pray everyday that we can reunite in the afterlife.”

“Same thing,” Yixing chuckles, cradling Baekhyun’s face with his hand, “As long as we can be together.”

Baekhyun gazes into Yixing’s eyes. He can see only himself.

//

Baekhyun stumbles back to his room just before dawn breaks, and the servants start their morning routine.

His legs are quivering after the passionate intercourse mere hours before, and his lips feel chapped and dehydrated. His own undershirts had been ruined in his haste to remove them the night before, so he has one of Yixing’s on. The rough material chafes his swollen nipples, the overstimulation making them hurt with every movement, but Baekhyun reckons there is a twisted sort of justice in this, that he must suffer for letting his desires loose.

He barely has time to wash his face in the basin before Junmyeon is knocking at the door, calling for Baekhyun to be ready for court. His raps are urgent, his calls hasty and borderline disrespectful as a servant to his master, as if he is in a rush. Baekhyun can’t tell the time in his room, so he takes Junmyeon’s behaviour as a clear indicator that he’s overstayed at Yixing’s.

Dragging the contents of his wardrobe out, Baekhyun finds his court clothes and quickly changes into them, ignoring Junmyeon’s calls that the maids are waiting to help him, running his fingers through his hair. His lips are still too swollen and it won’t go down anytime soon, but he has to appear for morning court.

Dashing out of the room, he yells to Junmyeon, “Keep everyone out of my room!” He barely makes it to the throne room on time, and Chanyeol and the King’s disgusted glances makes him want to scurry right out.

Five minutes in and he’s sweating bullets, the robes stifling and heavy. His entire lower body is screaming in overexertion, demanding him to sit down _now_ , but everyone’s gaze is shifting everywhere, and it _will_ land on Baekhyun every now and then.

Today’s court is particularly tedious, and the Lord of the Monies, Kim Jongin, brings up Minseok and Baekhyun’s wedding yet again, citing that the preparations are complete, and probes the Lord of the Ceremonies for a date.

The Lord of the Ceremonies nods and submits a proposal of a few probable dates for the wedding ceremonies. The King gives it a skim before handing it to the Queen, citing that she would be in charge of seeing to it. She looks oddly flattered, and a drop of sweat rolls off Baekhyun’s chin onto the back of his wrist.

Finally, finally it is over, and Baekhyun can stumble back into his room on shaking legs, sinking onto his feet. His entourage, largely ignored today, flit in their various directions in confusion, starting to gossip about how their master had behaved today.

Locking the door, Baekhyun quickly sheds himself of his robes, and he shivers at the cold air that hits his naked skin.

In a daze, he traces the hand-shaped bruises on his waist, his thighs, and the lovebites maiming his collar and chest. They hadn’t had the chance to clean Baekhyun properly, so right now his underpants are soiled with the cum that had just flowed out of him as he had stood in court. On top of that, his undershirt and robes are completely stained with sweat, so he crawls across the cushioned floor to take a quick bath.

Strewn on the floor are the clothes from the night before, and he gathers them up to throw out for the maids to wash later. Two sets of underpants, two pairs of robes, one set of undersh-

Baekhyun’s heart skips a bit. Velvet silk slips through his fingers, but Yixing’s rough shirt is nowhere to be seen. He looks again. He counts the clothes again, he checks the bath tub. He takes the mattress of the bedframe, he upends his wardrobe. He tears the room apart.

And Baekhyun looks, he really _looks_ , but the shirt is nowhere to be found.

Baekhyun knows _exactly_ what the shirt looks like. All clothing of the palace’s servants are assigned to them, in accordance to gender, size, and the nature of work. Each servant only has a set amount of clothes. As such, every item of clothing is labelled with the servant’s name.

And if- and if- someone finds _Yixing’s_ shirt, in _Baekhyun’s_ room, covered with telltale stains - 

It would be all over.

And really, there’s only one person who could have entered his room during court, and before Baekhyun can react, it comes down, all at once.

//

“Baekhyun...” his younger brother has an odd look on his face as he stops Baekhyun after court the next day. “I have received word that... Jongdae has become aware of your... escapades.”

“What?” Baekhyun squeaks. He regrets the sound instantly, and his eyes flit to a man in his entourage, the member he usually entrusts with the security of his room.

“Do you know how scandalous that looks like?” Chanyeol purses his lips, “A prince, _engaged_ , having _desire_ for a man? Do you have any idea what the public and the court will think about our family if this gets out?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Baekhyun rebuts shakily, “This is my own business. Let them talk.”

“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol sighs, “We’re not children anymore. There are things that... have to be done. I- especially, I need you to do your part, if we are to preserve the throne in the right hands. _Our_ hands.”

A cold chill runs up Baekhyun’s spine. “What do you mean?” He croaks. 

Chanyeol fixes him with a cold, appraising look. It’s one that looks very, very odd on Chanyeol’s face. “I won’t let the Byun royalty fall into the Kim family and the Queen, Baekhyun. Jongdae and I are of the same age - if it comes down to it, Jongdae might very well likely be win over me. Remember our mother, Baekhyun? She was of the Park Clan, she was the queen. If you- if your _affliction_ is spread out, it would not only destroy you, but also the entire Park Clan, do you hear me?

“This marriage isn’t just about our father, isn’t just about you. Your marriage is also about me, and our mother, and our sister. I won’t let Jongdae remove us from history.”

Baekhyun’s face has completely gotten pale. “What do you mean affliction?” He croaks out, “What- what are you talking about?”

“Look,” Chanyeol sighs, “Don’t make me say it out loud. Just go and become Minseok’s husband, take some woman as consort, pop out a lot of babies and just sit back and support me.”

“Chanyeol!” Baekhyun cries, but this time he is truly scared when his younger brother whirrs around with a dark look on his face.

“Stop this shit, Baekhyun!” He growls, “Do you know why you, as the eldest son, was contracted into this marriage? Our father _knew_ you wouldn’t be able to succeed him from the very beginning! You have no ability! Kim Eunhye and Kim Jongdae will have their grubby hands over _our_ throne before you even _sit_ on it! That’s why you’re the one getting married, not me!”

Chanyeol closes his eyes, as if regretting what he had just said. The walls have ears, after all. Baekhyun’s little brother shakes his head violently and marches off, his ever faithful entourage following his footsteps.

Baekhyun watches him leave. 

Almost immediately, he has the exact same talk from the king in his chambers.

The King is in his casual robes, and he sits on the chair of his study solemnly as Baekhyun stands in front of him.

“You are... very close to that gardener.” The King starts, going straight to the topic. “Zhang Yixing.”

Baekhyun stays silent and grabs the edge of his sleeves. 

“I was young once, Baekhyun.” The King continues, frowning. There are deep lines entrenched into his forehead. “But you are a prince. I warn you, Baekhyun, you must fulfill your duties. You should watch yourself.” The king says gravely, “You do not want to fail Chanyeol, do you?”

“Fath-”

“Listen to me!” the king booms. “You and Chanyeol remind me of your mother in a lot of ways. I will do anything to help the both of you, do you understand me? I will protect you with anything it takes. Do you understand me, Baekhyun?”

Baekhyun lowers his head. None of this sounds convincing, coming from this aging man’s mouth. He is a father alright, but a father that was high and aloof, a father that never saw either of them as who they were. Instead, both Chanyeol and Baekhyun had always been a replacement for Park Yumin, a sign of her love for her king, a sign of her sacrifice for her love. But how quickly the king was to put Kim Eunhye on the throne next to his!

How could the king sound convincing, when he never saw them as his sons? What did the word ‘love’ mean to him?

The king coughs, then, a hidden sign of his growing age. “Do you know what you have to do, Baekhyun?

“We must give up some things for far greater things. This is our life as monarchs.”

Baekhyun looks up at him, smiling radiantly and bitterly. “I understand, father, I understand.”

The King fixes him with a level look, then sighs and dismisses him. Bowing in response, Baekhyun turns away calmly, briskly walking back to the direction of his room. Junmyeon joins him halfway, fretting over his master, asking him what Chanyeol and the king had wanted, but Baekhyun tunes him out and dismisses him once he’s back in the confines of his bedroom.

He cannot marry Minseok, he is sure of it.

And if everyone wants him to stay out of the way - then he will.

He grabs a travelling bag, puts some civilian clothes in. Some coins and money, some undershirts. It’s a big, bulky pack when he’s done, but it’s light.

He changes into his riding clothes and waits for night to fall.

As soon as the moon rises, he runs.

He runs, and runs, and a smile is growing on his face. Finally they can be free. He can see it, the confused look on Yixing’s face when Baekhyun pushes open the door, rucksack in hand. The look of alarm on the older man, then determination. Yixing won’t need much convincing - he always listens to Baekhyun.

They will go over the mountains and into the neighbouring kingdom. Yixing will sell his flowers, Baekhyun? Maybe Baekhyun could sing in an inn. Then, maybe, in the future, they will be able to go back to Yixing’s home kingdom, with tall trees and black and white bears.

He trips over a lonely branch and he sprawls across the pebbled roads, and there’s blood as he bites his bottom lip to stop himself from whimpering aloud. He’s walked this path so many times before, but it is tonight that it looks awfully, awfully scary.

He picks himself up. There’s a faint burning on his cheek, and his palms and knees are scraped, but he continues running.

He bursts into the gardens where Yixing’s cabin is, and he stops in his tracks. Torches light up the area, there’s a large crowd.

Slowing his footsteps, his heart begins to sink.

He doesn’t notice the crowd parting for him, shocked at the bedraggled look their prince is sporting. He doesn’t notice the whispers, the stares as he stumbles.

He hardly recognizes the face, but he can recognize the curve of his fingers, the fullness of his lips, the feeling of skin against skin, even if he is cold, bloodless, silent.

And there is _nothing_ in him that compares to his vitality, his energy. His gentleness, his attentiveness. 

They should have run away.

A giant’s foot has stepped down on two ants struggling to go home. How selfish Baekhyun was, to think he could have the better of both worlds! He had let the snowball grow larger and larger in size, and before he knew it he was watching an avalanche fall down, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

They have taken away Yixing’s beauty and grace. There is blood and mangled bone everywhere. 

But it doesn’t matter. No one can take Yixing away from Baekhyun’s memories.

//

Civil war erupts not two years later, seven nights after the death of the King, just after his soul has passed through the gates of the underworld. His will is revealed, and the heir is Chanyeol. Kim Jongin, the queen’s brother, steps in, stating that if they are not to crown the eldest son, then the youngest son Jongdae is a much better candidate. Half of the cabinet agree. Kim Junmyeon, Baekhyun’s maid and Jongdae’s cousin, slyly implies that Chanyeol has taken the kingdom illegally, trying to get Baekhyun to support Jongdae’s cause.

Park Yura, Chanyeol’s twin sister, and Queen of the Eastern Kingdom, steps in and throws the support of her whole country behind Chanyeol’s claim to the throne. Their grandfather, the former Great General Park, rallies banners behind Chanyeol’s name. In retaliation, the present Great General Oh Sehun, Kim Jongin’s adopted son, calls upon his troops.

Byun Baekhyun seems to have been forgotten, hiding in his own room. Junmyeon has long been dismissed after everything had blew up, and he’s gone to serve Jongdae. It is more than clear, now, who had told Jongdae about Yixing. He sits on his bed, rocking back and forth.

His clothes now hang loosely on him.

Minseok enters his room. There is no maid, no servant to herald him in - Chanyeol has control over the royal palace, now. Instead, there are soldiers standing outside. 

Minseok casts his gaze over the room and the husk Baekhyun is right now. “Those flowers in the vase needs changing.” The prince says, gesturing to the long wilted white gardenias by the window. They have long lost their shape and colour. Not even Baekhyun could bring himself to touch those flowers, how could he let others?

“You always liked small talk, in the brief days we spoke.” Baekhyun answers. “What are you here for?”

“You and I - we are still engaged, even if our marriage was placed on indefinite hiatus” Minseok lays out, the look in his eyes unreadable, “Kim Jongin has asked for my hand.”

“You should go with him.” Baekhyun says, his voice rasp.

“I will not break decorum like that,” Minseok says firmly, “If you still- if you have _any_ fight left behind you, I will stand behind you as your fiance. If you want to support Jongdae, if you want to support Chanyeol, tell me, and I will amass my kingdom behind them. If you want to contest for the throne yourself, I will also stand by your decision. But...”

Baekhyun raises his head up.

“If you really decide to _rot_ away like this, then of course I shall go back to my kingdom.” Minseok finishes.

“No.” Baekhyun croaks out, “What’s the point anymore?”

Minseok takes a deep breath. He no longer carries much of the gentleness he had had when Baekhyun had first met him.

“We could have done something, Baekhyun, together,” Minseok spits venomously, “You and I, abandoned by our fathers, destined to never inherit the throne - you and I could have _done something_ about it. So be it, Byun Baekhyun. You could never be anything more.”

The man leaves the room, banging the door behind him in an undignified, unprincely manner. Baekhyun continues to rock back and forth. It’s seven years since the day of Yixing’s funeral. They had called it an accident, of course. Trampled by the horses that had broken out of the Royal Stables. One of the stable hands had been punished for that, but there was no body to prove the story.

No one wanted one, anyway. No one was concerned with the death of a servant, no matter how skilled his hands were, no matter how beautiful the gardens he kept were. There were so many gardeners anyway, Yixing was just one of many. No matter how kind he was, how bright, and happy, and intelligent, and loving he was. The King had spoken in greving tones, lamenting the loss of his “favourite and loyal” gardener. To compensate, even, Chanyeol had agreed to take Yuxia, who had been crying the whole time, as his concubine. The lords ah-ed at the young prince’s kindness, but Yuxia seemed to not care much beyond the fact that her last living kin in this foreign land was gone.

Baekhyun hadn’t paid much attention to Yuxia at all, he hadn’t had the need to. She really looked a lot like Yixing.

Baekhyun’s father had made up this whole elaborate lie just for Baekhyun, and Baekhyun hadn’t known whether to feel flattered, or disappointed.

He’s hid in the palace for two years, where he had been secluded from the war, the real world. He already knows how he’s going to do the whole thing, tonight. For the first time in his life, he will fulfill his duties as an older brother, and to Yuxia, who is now swollen with child. If Baekhyun’s act can save the last of Yixing’s family, he’ll do it - it’s the last thing he could do for everything Yixing has done for him.

He’s thought about it, long and hard. If the kingdom would not allow him to sleep with a man, it would not allow him to take his own life. He had to fake it so that no one would know it was a suicide. 

The corner of his gaze sweeps over the window. Outside the window is the garden. If Baekhyun had never seduced Yixing, he would be out there, doing his duty. He would have married a nice young woman. He would be teaching his own son how to prune the hedges, coax the flowers. His children would have his dimples, his voice, his gentle nature

He would not have to bear Baekhyun’s sins for him. He would not have to have died, he would not have to have died _young_.

Baekhyun had held everything in his hands, but the only thing he couldn’t have, he tried to have it. He had been blind - rightfully so, regretfully so - and the monsters with their snapping jaws had been unleashed from their pandora’s box, by Baekhyun’s own volition.

If only Baekhyun hadn’t decided to deviate from his path and tread onto Yixing’s. It was he who had dragged everything with him and poisoned Yixing’s course, had caused him to plummet.

Everything was Baekhyun’s fault.

The war, Yixing, Yuxia, Chanyeol, Minseok, Baekhyun.

He calls for one of the bodyguards Chanyeol has put on him. Zitao is a smart man, and absolutely loyal to Chanyeol.

It takes quite a lot of convincing, but eventually Zitao relents.

In the morning, Zitao will find Baekhyun assassinated in his bed, the windows wide open with a man in a black costume jumping out, his blade still dripping with blood. Zitao will also find a pendant that the man in black has dropped, with Jongdae’s army’s emblems.

Chanyeol will spin a story of how his peace-loving, bed-riddled, lonely older brother who wanted the best for him had been murdered brutally, and he will accuse Minseok of assisting Jongdae’s dishonourable behaviour. Minseok will be quick to distance himself from Jongdae after that, and Jongdae will be titled kin-killer and murderer. Hopefully that will remove some of his support.

Perhaps in the long scheme of events, nothing Baekhyun will do will matter, and instead Zitao will bear the burden of being the only one alive who knows what Baekhyun has done.

But for now, Baekhyun just wants to sleep.

//  
_  
“He has... forgotten about me?” Baekhyun’s bottom lip trembles._

_“Of course,” The granny replies agreeably, “No one can turn back. Once you start walking forward, you cannot walk backwards. If he had passed before you, he must have come to me, and he must have drunk my soup.”_

_“I must drink the soup, then?” Baekhyun cries desperately._

_“Yes,” The granny says, “You must drink my soup to continue on your path.”_

_Baekhyun looks at the bridge again. “Am I in hell?” He croaks out._

_“Child, of course you are,” Granny smiles, “Did you really think you deserved to be reincarnated, or become one of the gods? Now drink, and you will be sorted into one of the 18 hells for the sins you have committed.”_

_Baekhyun looks at the soup._

_Then I can only pray that he is in whatever hell I will go to, and we will love each other again.  
_


End file.
